Guest Blog by an OBA Grad

I write this to you today in hopes of you reading this. Nobody ever said it was hard, nobody ever said it was easy. School comes in the middle of your life quite literally. You sit at a desk for 6 and a half hours and write tests and do assignments. Your life is school, will be school and there is no way around it. Just do your school work and the rest will come.

You don't know me and I don't know you and maybe that’s for the better. If you did know me then hi again. For those who don't know me it's just another long worded page but it's worth reading. You will be tested to your breaking point, people will always have things to say but just ignore them because the thing you are striving for is much better than some people's words.
I have been here for 6 years now. I've seen many people come and go, I've made new friends and had multiple new experiences. Every experience has led up to this. I already graduated but you're just getting started so don't waste your time and make the most of it because you never know when your last day will be. You're here for a reason as was I. You will experience things you like and dislike as did I. But in the near future you will be writing this as well because you accomplished the grand prize.
You will be challenged each day to your breaking point, it may be hard but nothing will be as hard as your final day at this school so don't take every test for granted as you do not know when your last test will be. If you knew me you knew I hated school work many years ago but that did not stop me from accomplishing many of my life long goals. Playing sports and being good in school were my top 2 priorities in life but your priorities are school and ? it is yours to choose. Find something you truly like and stay the course as if you quit you will never know what you could’ve become. Good things happen to those that wait, people who wait will truly understand the process of hardwork and dedication, they also do not rush things as they know it will come with time and effort.
Work hard in school and have that drive in you to keep going and make sure you're kind to Erin and Devon because it'll make your life easier. Erin will always help you if you are being kind and listening to her as well. Do not grunt at her because only I was allowed to do that, nah do it but just when it's a funny time and everybody else is talking, so you do not get in trouble. Devon is as professional as it gets and I claim he marks in his calendar when he laughs even though I know he does not. Devon will teach you to the best of his abilities and if you mess up he will calmly show you the right steps and make it 10x easier for the next problem you have to answer.
Your life may seem hard with school but it gets easier the more you're here. If you play sports after school, listen to your coaches and whoever else is in charge. If you do piano or any other activity, put as much effort and time into that as you did your school work. If you made it this far then you're a real one but I'm not done yet. Some experiences may better you and some experiences might make you question yourself but everything happens for a reason.
The meaning of life is to do things that make you happy and to live life to its fullest. If you can execute on those 2 things then you will realize you had it easy. I was once sitting in your exact chair (far left of the classroom by the billboard, last seat) don't find that weird, find it inspiring. The desk holds lots of memories good and bad but mostly good. I remember the first friend I had and trust me when I say you won't wanna forget them. They most likely won't go to this school for their whole middle school career as they might go on to bigger things in life, who knows what they’re doing. Good times turn into memories, memories turn into learning opportunities and learning opportunities turn yourself into who you are. If you're into football look up 1990s hardest hitters. If you're into history lookup Titanic and War Horses.
Again I don't know you but I do know you are here and I am not, you are living the life I once lived but can no longer live as I've grown up. I am out of here to try and make it big or something along those lines. I shall follow the same steps as I already did but in a way more intense and interesting environment. I have seen mostly everything but not quite everything. As I embark on my next journey I will not forget everybody who has helped me along the way and for new people just getting to the school welcome to your new journey. You decide how hard it is and how far you want to take this thing.
Many changes have been made to this school over the years like the walls being repainted and staff members not remaining the same. As you walk the halls next year make sure to be thankful to be here and remember all the people who walked the halls before you did. I among 3 other people will not be returning next year but it doesn’t mean that you won't be here. While you are here make the most of your time learn from mistakes and successes and find a formula that works best for you. You will know when you find the right formula as it will click in your head, and your grades will go up significantly.
One of the biggest pieces of advice I could give you all is to make the right choices but you already know that. Most of you reading this will be graduating next year so when you walk across the stage think of all the people who made it possible for you to be here. Instant nostalgia will fall over you as you remember all things and a rush will go through you. At this time you will notice that you did not appreciate your time enough as you wish you could grasp just a few more seconds. For me I remember being excited to leave every single year on the last day of school, however when it is truly your last day of school you will not be excited, you will be grateful for all who have taught you. I thought in grade 5 I was going to build a mansion with one of my friends. He then proceeded to leave after that year and maybe that's when I realized I could not have everything in life. I don't know you or your backstory but just savor every moment as you do not know when your last moment here on earth and in a class will be.
For the people who come from schools that did not believe in them or try for them, welcome to the best place on earth. For the people who are here for other reasons, enjoy your time. I used to dream about graduating and how exciting and fun it was until I realized it meant my time was coming to an end. When your time comes to an end just know you’ve made a lasting impression on everybody and most important of all you’ve made a lasting impression on yourself and found your true identity. Sometimes school is all it takes for something to click in your head or a summer break as that was the case for myself. You know as well as I do if I had the option to turn time back I would and I would do everything so differently however this is not the case. Past mistakes don't define who you are unless you let them so don't let them.
Don't wish you could do something because you're going to be wishing for your whole life, just do it. If you're doubting yourself all I can say is keep going but deep down in you, you know what it takes to execute at the highest level possible. Wake up tired, exhausted and hurt and do it anyway because you’ll thank yourself later for pushing yourself to be a better person. As soon as you get inside the pink classroom you will see what I saw a whole lot of work but don’t think in that tone. Take everything day by day and do not worry about the future as the future is yet to be presented or known to yourself or anybody else by you, if you can tell the future then please shoot me an email haha.
If you see someone struggling ask what's wrong but if they need space, grant them space, you’ll feel better asking then just watching them be upset. If Erin is stressed out then let her be in her zone because crossing Erin Doyle will never work unless you keep doing it, she might even put up her hoodie if she is annoyed enough. The pink pack is one of the most important classrooms in the school because it's a grade 7 and 8 classroom. You guys are at the golden age of 12-13-14 this is where you truly find your passions as I did and you discover the most about yourself throughout grade 7 and 8. Compromising will also be key for all you upcoming people, ensure you compromise calmly and efficiently as if you are screaming at the person you will never get what you want.
Nate I know you are reading this and hopefully I have taught you lots because my main goal was to guide you through grade 7 and make sure you have all the skills you need for grade 8. Thank you for making grade 8 fun for me and the whole class and make sure you stand out on the football field like you always do. For new people to the school, you will never know me but hopefully this long writing page will stick with you throughout your experiences at this school. And for the old people at this school like Kathie, Erin and Reta you guys have aged like fine wine haha. Back to the seriousness, the people who want to help you just want to see you succeed in the future so take advice from them as they have been here on this earth longer than us.
​Time will go by fast, people you know will leave the school but just stay you and everything will be great. If you ever need anything ask someone you can trust within the school (your closest friend) I may not be here anymore but I can still receive information so be on your best behavior!  The days you feel drained are the days you learn the most about yourself as you learn how to persevere through challenges. ​

Reduce Screen Time After Dinner
While turning on a movie or giving your child a tablet may seem like a good way to wind down, screens can actually interfere with their ability to settle. Bright and stimulating images may over stimulate the brain, making sleep harder to achieve. Instead, try alternative activities such as reading books, listening to an audiobook, or playing calming music to help your child transition into bedtime.
Another idea is to introduce a “calm-down basket,” filled with sensory-friendly items like fidget toys, stress balls, or textured blankets. This allows your child to self-regulate while avoiding overstimulation from screens.

Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment
Take a moment to assess your child’s sleep space. Is it too noisy? A sound machine can provide consistent background noise and block out distractions like siblings or a TV in another room. Is the room too bright? Blackout curtains might help. Alternatively, if your child feels anxious in complete darkness, try a nightlight for added security.
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You can also consider adding tools like a weighted blanket, which offers calming deep pressure and is often beneficial for children with ASD. Adjust your child’s environment gradually until you find the perfect balance that works for them. Adding calming scents, such as lavender, through a diffuser or pillow spray, may also contribute to a soothing atmosphere.

Establish a Consistent Routine
Routines are critical for children with ASD. Create a simple evening schedule with steps such as a warm bath, brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, and reading a story. Evaluate your current routine to see what works well and where you might make adjustments.

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Using a visual schedule can be especially helpful. These tools allow your child to visually follow the steps of the routine, fostering independence and reducing resistance. Pair the schedule with timers to help your child anticipate transitions, such as how much time remains until bedtime. Social stories about bedtime expectations are another excellent resource, many of which are available for free online.

Incorporate Positive Reinforcement
When your child follows their sleep routine, be sure to celebrate their efforts! Praise them with specific feedback, such as, “I love how you brushed your teeth all by yourself!”
For more significant milestones, consider using a reward chart. For example, explain to your child that after three nights of staying in their bed, they’ll earn a reward. Each successful night, they can add a sticker to the chart. Once they reach the goal, celebrate with something motivating—a special outing, a favorite snack, or a new toy. Start with small, achievable goals and gradually increase them as your child succeeds.

Practice Relaxation Techniques
Teaching your child relaxation strategies can ease anxiety and prepare them for sleep. Simple breathing exercises, like inhaling for four counts and exhaling for four counts, can promote calmness. Guided meditations or bedtime yoga designed for children can also create a peaceful mindset.
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Try incorporating a short “body scan” exercise where you guide your child to notice and relax each part of their body, starting from their toes and moving up to their head. Apps and videos tailored for children can make these exercises even more engaging

Be Consistent
Consistency is key to success. Work with all family members to establish and maintain the same bedtime rules and routines. Children thrive on predictability, so ensuring everyone reinforces the same expectations will create a stable environment.
It’s important to follow through yet be supportive. For instance, if your child doesn’t meet the goal one night, explain why and try again without giving in. This can be challenging, but with a clear plan and family support, you’ll see progress over time!
Remember, improving sleep takes patience, persistence, and flexibility. Celebrate small wins and adjust as needed. A well-rested child is a happier child—and a well-rested family benefits everyone. The journey to better sleep may take time, but the rewards—from brighter mornings to calmer evenings—are worth every effort!

Yours Truly,
 Elexis Thompson

A lot of people have heard of Pavlov at some point throughout their life, and how he taught a dog to salivate at just the sound of a bell. This bell was paired with food until eventually, the dog salivated without the presence of the food and just the sound of the bell. With this experiment, he made popular the difference between respondent and operant conditioning, previously discussed by Watson. Although many people may remember learning about this, they didn’t learn about it any further and how respondent and operant behaviour are present every day in their children’s lives.

Respondent behaviour is an unlearned behaviour that is elicited by a stimulus in the environment, such as the pain that is felt after touching something hot. This behaviour is a reflex, something that doesn’t need to be taught - something hot just hurts! Operant behaviour on the other hand is learned behaviour, it is not reflexive but instead evoked by a known antecedent or consequence. For example, a child may think, “If I cry in the grocery store line, I will get the candy I want!” This behaviour has been learned, because in the past, when in line at the grocery store and told no to the request for candy, crying led to that answer changing. This is what we often refer to as simply “learned behaviour” and the more this behaviour is reinforced, the higher the likelihood will be of that same behaviour occurring whenever in the same situation. But in the same way a behaviour can be learned, it can also be unlearned!

​Understanding your child’s learning history is a vital piece of information when deciding to modify their behaviour. A long learning history, with a behaviour that has been reinforced for months or even years, means it will take longer and require much more patience as you work to alter that behaviour. It is important that you as a family are ready to follow through with your plan to modify your child’s behaviour, knowing that it will require more time and patience with those longer learning histories. Once you are ready, you can work with your OBA team to tackle the changes you want to make! Together, we may start with the ABCs to define the behaviour and its learning history. For example:

• Antecedent: you tell Billy it is time to put the iPad away
• Behaviour: Billy engages in aggression (i.e., hitting and kicking) then flops to the floor and continues to scream and cry
• Consequence: You tell Billy everything is OK and that he can have the iPad for 5 more minutes

Consistency across all people involved in your child’s day-to-day life, and across all settings (e.g., school, grandparents homes, tutors, extracurricular curricular, other professionals etc.) is an integral part of altering the behaviour you decide to target. When the consequence of reinforcement is fully removed for every instance of the target behaviour, a notable decrease in those behaviours will occur over time. With the removal of reinforcement for interfering behaviours, it is very important to make sure that an appropriate behaviour (i.e., a replacement behaviour) is also taught. Your team at OBA will help to identify these replacement behaviours and begin teaching them at school. They will then provide you with the tools needed to practice at home. To ensure the success of replacement behaviours, it is important that they serve the same function or the same “why.”

For the purpose of altering learned behaviours with an extensive history of reinforcement, all events of reinforcement need to be completely removed for interfering behaviours. Follow through can be hard, but it is so so important! In the event that interfering behaviours occur, it is imperative to follow through with the removal of reinforcement for every occurrence of these behaviours. If these behaviours are reinforced at any point in time your child will continue to engage in them as they are aware the consequence of reinforcement will be accessed at some point in time. For example, if on every 3rd or 4th instance of aggression or flopping, you give in rather than follow through, you are teaching your child to continue their behaviour because eventually it will work and they will gain their iPad time. This is where that patience comes in, as you will need to be mindful of your response ensuring that you follow through. Your team at OBA is here to help you in altering these behaviours of your child, but we are also here to help with those mindful parent responses (this month’s parent workshop will target just that!).

Yours truly,
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Tina and Stephanie
Your OBA BCBAs,

​Advocating for myself and my needs has never been easy and I would risk failure and missed opportunities simply because I was too embarrassed to ask for what I needed. During my days in school, I would often be filled with anxiety during tests and too embarrassed to ask for more time or clarification for questions. I would also (and still do) get very distracted by voices and sounds in the classroom, and in the 90’s accommodations were rare or unheard of. It would have centered me out from my peers, so hiding things was just easier. In my personal life, I often forget important dates which is frustrating for those in my life, this is not intentional. I just forget! Since I am very easily distracted, I often appear as though I am not listening, when in fact I am processing what the speaker is saying as well as the many sounds I am unable to filter out. This puts a strain on my personal and professional relationships which has weighed heavy on my heart all these years. I am still learning how to advocate for myself, however, at OBA I feel comfortable and supported to speak up and tell Kathie, and my coworkers what I need to be successful and content.  

​​Things that are difficult for me and the things I simply need to get through the day have certainly changed over the years, but some remain the same. Loud noises, forgetting important dates, crowds, or the perception of rejection and disappointment can severely impact my success in professional and personal relationships. Our needs don't magically stop when we leave elementary school. So why do we stop accommodating people's needs as they get older? When we are small it is in people's nature to support and help, as we grow older the expectation is to know the rules and fall in line with the rest. With each passing stage in a child’s life, their needs change and we, as their support system, need to adapt and change as well. Being compassionate and believing our kiddos when they come to us and tell us what they need is key. In elementary school, kids may need visuals with pictures or close proximity to their teacher or parent when completing tasks. Headphones, quiet workspaces, deep-pressure activities and the ability to sit in a special chair are just a few of the accommodations a child may need. As they grow and enter high school, those visuals may change to a To-Do list, more space from teachers and parents BUT still having them close by for comfort.  When they move on and are out in the world alone they will still need these things. Heck! I need at least four visual cues for events in several different formats so I don't forget! We don't stop needing access to these things because we get physically bigger. Our brains are still diverse. Don’t be afraid to ask your child, your coworker, or your friend if there is something you can help with if you notice them having a tough time. The worst thing they can say is no - we are trying to teach and raise empathic beings and that starts with us. Checking in can open the door to a bigger conversation and could potentially change the projection of a young person's life. Accommodating is inclusion and inclusion helps foster acceptance of our true selves and a better quality of life.

​​The revelation of intrinsic inclusion wasn't something that came naturally to me. It took a lot of years and experience working with children and their families to understand what children need. It took a lot of inner work to realize that I was one of those children who needed accommodations and with that opened the door to being truly accommodating in the work that I do. Accommodations are just a part of the day in the Living Skills program - visuals, timers, and transitional warnings are built into our program. Letting the students know we are here for them, and whatever they need is key to their success. We are preparing them for the world outside the OBA walls and that includes sticking up for themselves and advocating for what is fair. It is hard to speak up to your peers and teachers and tell them something isn't working for you or you need something extra. The importance of having automatic accommodations in the classroom and creating an environment for them to practice independence in accessing what they need is critical to these teens. In a few years, they will be out there amongst the sometimes cruel world, and we want them to leave with courage and confidence in themselves to speak up for what they need. Small changes that you can make may mean nothing to you, but they might mean the world to someone else. People with Autism, ADHD, etc. are not out there demanding unreasonable accommodations, just small adjustments that make their work/life easier at no cost to you.  

Accommodations are not isolated to the world of neurodiversity, everyone can use compassion and support. Be the hero you needed when you were young and check in on your people. Everyone deserves a seat at the table and to access the tools they need to get there! 

​As the end of the school year quickly approaches, we begin to see the inevitable burnout. So often, it is thought that this only applies to our teachers, behaviour therapists, and support staff, when in fact our children feel it as well. This is especially true for children who learn in different ways. For example, children who have difficulty attending, have to work hard to maintain their focus in addition to the work itself. Burnout in children is so prominent both at school and at home, and will present itself in a variety of ways. You may notice your child is more tired and irritable, you may notice an increase in stereotypy or problem behaviour, or you may just notice that overall they are easily upset and not responding in the same ways they usually do. As with any other change in behaviour, it is important to notice these changes and adjust your own behaviour to help support them through this tricky time of year. 

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​Burnout is defined as a state of mental, physical, or emotional exhaustion. Anyone can experience burnout - adults can experience burnout at work or home, athletes can experience burnout in sports, and students can experience academic burnout, just to name a few. But as I said, students who think and learn differently are more susceptible to academic burnout for several reasons. These factors include academic, social, and emotional factors that make it more likely for their bodies and brains to feel exhausted. Academically, our students often have to work harder than their peers to achieve the same results, in addition to any extra support they may receive on top of their already strenuous day (i.e., speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, etc.). Emotionally, our students are constantly working hard, sometimes in addition to the anxiety that accompanies their school day (whether this anxiety is about the work itself, failure, or just being in a social environment). And socially, our students have great relationships with those who support them, but they often have to work hard to initiate and maintain meaningful friendships. Add these factors together, for a duration of the 10 month school year, and it is not surprising that our students begin to feel the mental, physical, and emotional effects of burnout as the school year comes to an end.

​Being aware of this, and having preventative measures in place is of course the best way to help your child. Encouraging consistent body and brain breaks, healthy eating and sleep habits, and mindfulness are a few of the strategies that can help to prevent burnout. As our students learn these things while at school through the AIM and Connect curriculum, these strategies are already taught and embedded into their days. It is important for families to continue to encourage these strategies at home as well. But regardless of the many preventative measures you have in place, burnout can still happen. By being aware of the signs and responding in a supportive way, you can help your child from feeling overwhelmed and shutting down. Common signs of burnout in children to watch for include:
⁃ Changes to emotional regulation - your child may seem easily upset or frustrated by things they typically do not have difficulty with.
⁃ Loss of motivation or interest - your child may not feel motivated to engage in everyday tasks, this can include school work, extra curricular activities, or situations within your family routine. They may have difficulty concentrating and engage in more procrastination for these everyday situations. Research indicates that burnout leads to changes in cognition, including impairments in memory and executive functioning. 
⁃ Avoidance - your child may want to avoid situations that they previously enjoyed, such as school or social outings. 
⁃ Increase in anxiety - you may notice an increase in anxiety, which can present itself differently among children. This may include an increase in stereotypy, negative statements, physical illness, fatigue, or fight/flight responses (aggression/shutting down).
⁃ Changes to sleep - your child may experience changes to their sleep patterns, whether that be more fatigue or having difficult falling asleep.

​Recognizing these changes to behaviour will allow you to support your child through it, using the many strategies of ABA and ACT that they are already familiar with. This is a time of year to decrease expectations, provide additional support, and focus on spending quality time together. When a child is feeling the effects of burnout, this is not an ideal time to introduce new expectations without also providing extra support. Examples of support you can provide include:
⁃ Maintaining daily routines
⁃ Increasing access to breaks
⁃ Incorporate easier tasks and interests - when working through a non preferred activity with your child, try to incorporate their interests and easier tasks. Incorporating their interests will make the task more meaningful, while incorporating easier tasks will make the more difficult ones easier to tolerate.
⁃ Setting expectations, but providing more support when needed or decreasing those expectations - For example, when your child has come home after a busy school day and is noticeably tired or irritable, when completing their home schedule, perhaps they can choose the order, or they can select 3 activities instead of 5 for that day. This is also a time to increase reinforcement for those desired behaviours!
⁃ Schedule in down time - this may look different for each family, it may include setting up a quiet area, free time, or structured time with the family (such as a game or movie night). Add this down time to a visual schedule so that your child knows what to expect!
⁃ Increase visual supports - increase visual supports such as schedules, choice boards, timers, emotion wheels, and written expectations. This will help your child in knowing what to expect, in identifying what they are feeling and what they need, while decreasing the effort needed to do so.
⁃ Set goals - goal setting is an important component of ACT and something our students are familiar with. Help your child to recognize how they are feeling, and set values based goals together to help mitigate those feelings. For example, if your child values learning but is feeling exhausted, their goals may include asking for breaks when needed to engage in mindfulness or sensory breaks. ​

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​It is important to notify your child’s support team of behaviour changes you notice as well, as this will allow you to work together to help mitigate this time of year in a way that is consistent and meaningful to your child. It is also important, to demonstrate compassion both to your child and yourself! While the key to managing burnout effectively includes the support and coping strategies mentioned above, research also shows that relationships with caregivers serve as a protective factor in avoiding the negative effects of burnout in children. Take a step back when needed, and engage in self care. This will allow you to be the best version of yourself, overcoming burnout for yourself and your child, and returning to a positive mindset!

Yours Truly,

Tina

​I recently read an article that resonated with me in so many different ways as a Behaviour Analyst and mom of two. It started by stating that, “parental accommodation is when parents change their behaviour to prevent their child from experiencing temporary distress or discomfort.” This is something all parents, including myself, are often guilty of. No parent wants to see their child upset or hurting, but while we accommodate our child out of love, it is not helpful long term. Parental accommodation can present itself in many ways throughout your day, from the ways you prompt a response to the ways you avoid “triggering” or anxiety provoking situations. However, research shows that avoiding anxiety creates more anxiety, inflexibility creates more severe inflexibility, consistent prompting creates prompt dependence, and so on. So while our intentions are to help, it is important to notice how you may be hindering your child’s growth and their ability to live autonomously through your accommodations. ​

As a parent, the goal is to prepare your child for their future. I encourage you to take a step back, and think about your values and what is important to both you and your child as they grow. If independence and psychological flexibility is of importance, then at times during your child’s growth you will need to make the decision between the path that is easier versus the path that will lead you and your child to those values. Choosing to lessen your parental accommodations is not an easy choice, and one that will take a lot of effort, planning, and patience. However, our students have been exposed to a variety of tools at OBA that will help to increase their acceptance of the process. 

Parental accommodation often starts the moment a child wakes up. More often than not, a parent will make their morning smoother by picking out clothing and helping their child get ready for the school day. Instead, maybe try having your child pick their clothes the night before - not only teaching this skill directly, but also teaching them how to pick clothing according to the weather. Next, you might try a visual schedule to help them dress themselves, brush their teeth and hair, and meet you at the door when they are ready. For some, these steps may need to be broken down into smaller steps and for others you may be able to add steps such as packing their lunch. But either way, however you prompt them, it is important to plan to fade that prompt with the end goal being independence. ​

​For other children, the “triggers” may include haircuts, bedtime, or community outings. There is a wide array of factors that may lead to these triggers, whether it be sensory related or the activity itself being something that is unpreferred. This often leads to unwanted behaviour, hence the parental anxiety that may accompany it. Recently, my son developed a fear of fires after experiencing his first fire alarm at school. This led to weeks of tears, stalled bedtimes, and nightmares. He would cry for hours not wanting to sleep alone, and then would wake distressed after a nightmare. During this time I allowed him to sleep with me, and it quickly became a new routine. As I reflected on those weeks, I realized I was enabling the fear and his inability to work through this anxiety, while also decreasing my own discomfort when seeing him so upset. So together, we came up with a plan to work through it by educating him on fires - we practiced our emergency plan and demonstrated how our alarms work. Once he felt safe, we tackled bed time. We came up with a reinforcement system, where three nights in his own bed meant a trip to the dollar store. It took a couple weeks to get there, but during that time when he awoke in the night, we used some known strategies and went back to his own bed to fall asleep.

​Parents often ask us, “what is the best strategy to help my child practice ACT at home?” My first answer is always to educate yourself on what it is. Attend parent workshops, do some reading, or listen to a podcast. And learn the strategies that help us defuse from a difficult thought, allowing us to move forward in a direction that we value. In order to teach our kids something, we need to understand it and embrace it ourselves. 

Although there are many great strategies to teach your child, it is much more important how you teach them. How can you set up their environment so that they can naturally practice these skills they already know? How can you provide opportunities that encourage them to use the language and strategies they’ve been taught at school and by you? How can you go beyond just teaching a skill, and instead teach present moment awareness as a whole? And there are so many ways to answer these questions. 

You can start by setting up opportunities to practice during routine activities, and then model it. I can never say this enough. Children are always learning from their environment, and you are the most important piece of that environment. When you are having a difficult time regulating your own emotions, or are feeling nervous, model the use of strategies and communicate it. Use ACT language to help them better understand what you are feeling, and why you are responding the way you are. For example, when I am feeling nervous about public speaking, I am noticeably anxious. I might tell my children, “I’m super nervous about my presentation tomorrow, and I’m sorry if you can notice that in my mood. Talking in front of people makes me nervous, and I feel it in my tummy, and my hands, and sometimes I talk too fast. But that’s because I’m worried about making mistakes and what people might think of me. I know this is a story I am telling myself, and I’m working on strategies to calm my nerves and defuse from these thoughts because this is important to me.” After giving an explanation of what I am feeling and why, I will suggest some known strategies,  “I don’t want to miss out on things that are important to me, so I’m going to put that thought on a leaf and let it float down the stream, then I’m going to practice deep breathing so that I am present and I don’t miss out on what’s important. Do you want to help me practice?” In moments like this, it is not a sign of weakness to have big feelings, it is a learning opportunity for both you and your child. Normalize these feelings, and work through them using the strategies you want to see your child use. 

Throughout your everyday activities, there are many ways to model ACT yourself, and have your child practice. Set goals as a family, and committed actions to help move you closer to those goals, and then post them somewhere so that you can check in as a family. Validate your child’s feelings, and use acceptance and diffusion phrases when your child is having a hard thought, or a hard time moving away from a preferred activity. You might say, “I know you are feeling upset and that’s ok. But what strategy can we use right now?” Additionally, set up opportunities outside of these situations to practice present moment awareness. Mindfulness activities can be worked into many parts of your day, such as on the way to school, when energy levels are high, or as part of a bed time routine. 

It is also so important to remind your child of their strategies before they face something difficult and you know they’ll be needed. As a family, we recently had the opportunity to do this together. My 11 year old daughter is fearless on a race track, but that’s because she is confident there, and according to her, having a helmet where people can’t see her face also helps immensely. But she also plays the piano, and getting up to play in front of an audience is not an environment she feels comfortable in. On the way to her recent concert, we talked about strategies she could use before getting on stage. As I suggested she take a deep breath and focus on her music sheets, her five year old brother also suggested she count to 10 before starting, or do a “5 finger breath.” Prior to getting on stage she was noticeably nervous, but she got up there, and I watched her take a few seconds to focus on her breath before starting. She then played beautifully, and I was overwhelmed with emotion and pride, knowing that once again my children are learning to face their fears through the use of ACT strategies. Practicing these strategies outside of the big events where they are needed, allows our children to encompass acceptance and commitment training in a way that will generalize to so many other aspects of their lives as they grow. 

sFrom an ABA perspective, we know we need to reinforce the behaviour we want to see continue. So do not forget to validate feelings and reinforce your child when you see them using ACT language and strategies. As a community at OBA, we are all working together to create the best versions of ourselves and our children. A version that is psychologically flexible and able to navigate the world in a way that is mindful and values based. It takes a village, and as staff, we are always here to help you and your family! 

Yours truly,

Tina

This months guest contributor is Holly Kane.  Holly is one of our invaluable RBT's here at OBA and is currently working on a program to support siblings of children with autism and other exceptionalities. 

​Navigating the world as a sibling of a neurodiverse person is a unique and enlightening experience, and it is one that is accompanied by many profound emotions and thoughts. When I entered adolescence, I searched for sibling support; hoping to connect and relate to others going through a similar experience. However, I never did find that support. This lit a spark in me to bring awareness to a group that has been overlooked. I dedicated my Bachelor of Social Work to researching the impact of ASD on families and siblings, and I continue to incorporate it into my current studies as a Master of ADS student. Although many of my own experiences have helped me to develop some of my favourite qualities and have influenced this career path, I have also chosen this career path to bring light to the complex reality that siblings can face.

​What I’ve learned through my personal and academic experience is that not one sibling’s experience will be the same, but we are all connected by playing the roles of protector, mentor, interpreter, mediator, teacher, etc., for our sibling. We begin filling these roles from a young age, whether we are incorporated into behaviour programming, attempting to educate our friends on ASD, training our family members on how to use our sibling’s communication system, or navigating the inevitable bullying.  My role as a mentor and teacher began at four years old, as I was incorporated into my sister's play and social skills programs. These roles have now transpired into riding around on the city bus, learning her route to and from her work. I distinctly remember the day she got hired, as the first thing we did was research the route. However, we first got familiar with the bus by taking a celebratory dinner trip to McDonalds!

Although we often take on these roles naturally, it is important to remember that we are our own person, not just a sibling. We have our own relationships, challenges, likes, dislikes, feelings, thoughts, and goals. As I said, being a sibling to a neurodiverse person is so beautifully complex and we are a group of individuals that would also benefit from support. If you are a parent reading this that has a child who has a neurodiverse sibling, I hope this has provided some perspective. If you are a sibling to someone who is neurodiverse, I hope you find solace in this message – you are not alone. Parents, while you and your child(ren) navigate this together, remember they are their own person, and their feelings, thoughts, and perspectives are valid. You can support their sibling journey by offering them emotional support and information about their siblings’ diagnoses, but the best way you can support them is to ask them what they need. At the end of the day, this is a unique challenge that life has presented to us, but please remember, you are not alone in this journey.
 
Yours truly,
Holly

​The holidays are fast approaching, and for our students and their families that comes with a lot of emotions. The holiday break means time spent together as a family, which brings happiness and excitement. But it also means changes to expectations and routine, which for some can be anxiety provoking. Not only do things become very busy, with a lot of people, noise, lines, and socializing, but things also calm down and become less structured.
 
As we transition into December and the holiday spirit, our environments around us slowly begin to change. Our homes may be decorated, the music on the radio may change, television shows may become more festive, and the stores become busier. All of these things indicate that the holidays are approaching, and this alone can cause an increase in anxiety for some. It is important to watch for any indicators of anxiety as the holidays approach, to better prepare your child and yourself for success. Here are a few ideas to help prepare your family for a happy and less stressful break!

• Maintain Routines. Although there are many changes to routine throughout the holidays, try to maintain daily routines such as meal times, bath times, and bed times. On days where this is not possible, let your child know of the changes ahead of time so it is not a surprise (i.e., what is happening and when). Depending on your child, you can do this by having a conversation, adding it to a social story, or adding any changes to a visual schedule. Make this a collaborative process so that your child is a part of the decision-making process, in turn, increasing their motivation to participate in each activity.
• Provide an Area for Mindfulness. Have a safe and quiet place for your child to go to when they are feeling like their body or mind needs a break. This is especially helpful during the holidays to reduce sensory overload. At home, prepare this environment with strategies that your child is already familiar with, such as weighted blankets, mindful activities, visual supports, etc. When bringing your child to a new place, ask your host ahead of time if there is an area your child can go to when they need a break. This will allow you to prepare your child ahead of time, and show them the area as soon as you arrive.
• Incorporate Interests. There are many ways throughout the holidays to spend time with your child while incorporating their interests. Use this time to create family traditions that will be meaningful to them! This can include baking cookies, decorating cards, or going to see lights throughout your city. If your child likes trains, perhaps you can see the Holiday train. If your child has limited and specific interests, try to incorporate that as well. For example, if that specific interest happens to be a dog, a new holiday tradition could incorporate visiting the humane society to provide a few gifts they may need!
• Reduce Sensory Overload. There are many situations throughout the holidays that may cause sensory overload and overwhelm your child. But there are also many ways to assist in reducing this! Limit the number of outings per day, attend sensory friendly events, provide noise cancelling headphones, listen to music at a comfortable level, and reduce clutter such as toys, boxes, and wrapping paper!
• Use ACT and DNA-V Language. Model the use of familiar ACT and DNA-V language, encouraging your child to make choices that will move them towards their values. Reinforce your child for accepting difficult situations, defusing from difficult thoughts, and being their true selves. Encourage them to use their Discoverer to learn and explore the environment in a fun and open way, their Noticer to be aware of and label experiences in the present moment, their Advisor to weigh the reasons for and against pursuing a particular course of action, and their Values to identify the qualities that we want to reflect in our behaviour!
• Incorporate Positive Behaviour Supports. Positive Behaviour Supports create a positive and successful environment, while assisting in decreasing problem behaviours and teaching appropriate ones. It helps us to be proactive rather than reactive by modeling, teaching, practicing, and acknowledging the behaviours we want to see. To do this, use visual supports, offer choices, and remind your child of expectations. Recognize things that are out of your control and react accordingly (e.g., when your child is tired decrease expectations). Reinforce the behaviour you are teaching and want to see, while limiting reinforcement for those undesirable behaviours. And remember to frequently check in with how your child is feeling!
• Continue Working on Individual Goals. The holidays are a perfect time to generalize some of the individual goals being worked on at school! Use this time to work together in a fun way, while working towards their current goals. For example, if your child is working on waiting in line, use the same strategies to practice this skill at a store. If your child is working on their independence in getting dressed, allow them to help pick a special outfit for family events, and show you how fast they can dress themselves. If your child is working on following a recipe, allow them to pick a special treat to bake, and work together to prepare it!
• Self-Care! This is an especially important time to incorporate self-care, both for your child and yourself! You need a break too, so don’t forget about your own needs and how you can meet them during this time. Attend a yoga class, watch a movie, go for a walk and enjoy the Christmas lights - do something that will lift your spirit so you can be the best version of yourself!

 
Every family is different, celebrating different holidays and with different expectations. But no one knows your child better than you, so incorporate what works best for your family! I hope this provides support in a way that allows you to have the best Holiday Season with loved ones!
 
From my family to yours Happy Holidays,
 
Tina

      The Orton-Gillingham approach was something that I had heard great things about.  In fact, I was encouraged many times by colleagues to enroll in training as they had witnessed firsthand how amazing it is, and now I understand why. Just as Orton and Gillingham believed in keeping the best interest of each child their priority, I also held that belief close to my heart and I felt that I was making the best choices for my students each and every day. The sad thing is, you get caught up so much in twenty-first century learning and implementing technology that you sometimes get sidetracked from spending quality time interacting with your students. But it’s understandable; we live in a very fast paced world, where everything is about convenience. So why wouldn’t a student want to type their work, or use voice to text, and have spell check to support them with their spelling? They don’t have to write, and spelling is a non-issue when you have a screen doing it for you (depending on the child’s level of spelling). I quickly learned however, this is not the best way to support all of our students who struggle in areas of reading, spelling, and writing. Students, regardless of how they learn, still deserve the opportunity to learn through a multisensory approach.

​      After completing training in OG Foundations, I felt liberated and saddened at the same time. I spent 12 years as a classroom teacher before moving into a curriculum support role. I taught to the best of my ability, and having a Montessori background I did indeed use valuable teaching methods that focused on a multisensory approach. But after spending time in this course and reading numerous resources, I now know that I could have done more to support my students. How is it that we spend time learning how to be a teacher, yet the information is not all correct? Then we follow a curriculum document that is meant to guide us as we deliver content; content that is supposed to teach students the most important components around reading, writing, and spelling. I am boggled now that we have one of the most important jobs which is teaching the youth who will in turn become the link to our future, yet valuable information and resources are not always at the forefront. In our training, the instructor did state that we only teach what we know, and yes while that is true and comforting, it is also our job to ask questions about what is beneficial and what cautions to take. This all resonated with me profoundly because I am working with students with such diverse needs and abilities and therefore understand that sitting back and just using what I learned before is not enough. OG Foundations was the first step to realizing that if we want to best support our students, we need to ask questions and discover the science behind teaching our students so we can implement the most effective treatment.

​           Collaboration is key within any school environment, but even more important when you are working with students who have experienced failure and their mindset is tainted in the belief that they can do better. At OBA, we work together to change this mindset, and we do this through collaboration. This includes the many wonderful ideas and resources brought together through staff of different experiences and backgrounds. We bring together academics, ABA, and ACT in a way that is necessary to engage and teach our students. Looking at each child as an individual, and understanding that you need to support them based on their own personal differences is vital to their success. I’m thankful that the Orton-Gillingham approach is one that was not left unnoticed and that we are fortunate enough to bring it into collaboration within our OBA community.
 
Yours Truly,
 
Reta

​What does community mean to you? This is a question we asked our OBA students as the 2021/2022 school year came to a close. The answers ranged from family, friends, and church to hockey, pets, and the cities they lived in. But a common answer among many students was OBA. And that’s exactly what OBA is to so many, a community of people who have come together with shared values to overcome the many obstacles that life throws at us. 

I started this job four years ago, not realizing the difference this community would make in my own life. And I think that’s what makes OBA so unique, we as staff really embrace all that we teach. In year one, we learned the ins and outs of Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) together. We practiced with our students, at meetings, and at training. And eventually, it became a part of our lives. It’s embedded in our language, the way we approach uncomfortable situations, and the way we parent. When you really embrace something, it becomes a passion. It becomes a way of living, and when our students see us modeling the behaviour we are teaching, it makes it that much more likely for them to embrace it in the same way. 
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